I love you.
I know you prayed hard and waited for quite some time for my arrival. It even came to a point when you almost gave up on me. I am grateful that you didn’t.
It has been three years since I first let you hear me cry. Since then, I have learned so much more about you. I now know that you would do anything to give me a comfortable life. That you dream of me becoming a pilot someday. That you like to keep things really clean and organized sometimes OA na. That you don’t cook, but that’s okay. That, when I am older, you’d let me choose the kind of music that I’d want to listen to. That you want me to go to the same university you went to in college. That you want to go back to Everest with me. That you will love me unconditionally regardless of what my preferences in life will be when I grow up. I couldn’t be more thankful to have you as my Nanay.
But, I sometimes feel incomplete. Sending me to pre-school helps because I get to meet new friends, but despite this and all the toys you gifted me with, I still get lonely at times.
You see, I am your only child. My cousins are in the province. My uncles and aunties, lolas and lolos are nowhere nearby. I don’t have playmates too. I feel hurt when you spend way too much time on your mobile phone instead of cuddling with me. It’s as if it’s my baby brother or sister who needs more attention.
I get sad when I giddily want to tell you about something I just discovered and you won’t budge from looking down at your phone. You are too preoccupied with whatever’s making you smile on your mobile phone. You sometimes miss these crazy antics that I don’t usually do.
Nanay, please put your phone down. I am here. I want you, not my toys. You waited for me for so long so let’s make every second of our togetherness count. That will make me really happy.
When I want to play, please join me. Have fun with me. Dance and sing with me. Let’s bring chaos to our highly organized house. I will help you pack my toys away after, I promise.
When I break things, don’t lose your temper. Don’t get angry at me. Remember that I am your little explorer trying to understand how things work.
Let me be dirty sometimes. Don’t worry too much when I get hurt from playing. It’s normal for my hyperactive self to have cuts and bruises sometimes and for my feet to have so much dirt.
Please don’t yell at me when I get too excited. I am just thrilled about your presence. You can calm me down by being calm as well.
I’d also love to have lengthy gibberish conversations with you. I know you understand that I mean kalamansi when I say kamalansi. You can tell me how the sun is the center of the universe and I will listen. We can even discuss how the sprinklers and smoke detector work if that means keeping you away from being glued to your phone.
Nanay, please put your phone down. You don’t need social media to be happy because I am here. I can make you laugh without trying hard. Let’s turn all the memes you’ve been posting and laughing at into reality. It’d be fun. I may be too young to remember all these so please share them with me when I am old enough to understand and appreciate them.
I love you. Please put your phone down and let’s draw robots.
♥ River